Rest Well Tonight
by cyclone5000
Summary: All of Kasamatsu's worries seem to catch up with him at night.


_Hi there everyone. I think this marks the first KnB fic I posted up on this account! _

_This was one of those story ideas that wouldn't let me sleep at all. I woke up around four in the morning and couldn't calm down enough until I smashed away on my keyboard and got this written out. It's not something I'm able to do often, so I do like this fic a lot for that aspect alone. But, again this is my first time writing a full on fic about this ship...so it's something new at least!_

_Ah man. Thinking about those Kaijo matches, and then what all happened in Extra Game. I feel like Kasamatsu would have some heavy doubts that he needs to combat. But of course he would want to try to handle these insecurities himself and with his set of mind and his constant urgency to accept and handle responsibility. It wouldn't go so well for him. _

_Part of the reason why I like Kikasa so much is because I feel that while it's true that Kise definitely needs Kasamatsu in his life. The same can be true the other way around. Kise's bubbly personality and desire to life people's spirits would be extremely vital if Kasamatsu started to doubt himself. _

_With this in mind, I let my shipper heart get carried away and write this out. If you read this, I hope you enjoy it!_!

* * *

Time was bleeding itself on the surface of Kasamatsu's alarm clock. Glowing against the darkness of the late hour, serving as a beacon to sensibly head back to sleep should he turn over and see what time it was.

But he wasn't doing the right thing at this moment.

His eyes were downcast, looking at the plastered wall in front of him. His back toward his bedside table a few feet away from him. Facing the opposite direction of Kise who was peacefully asleep with his arms outstretched.

He had been against Kise's chest and snug in his grasp just a moment ago. He should be rolling back over and closing his eyes to rest himself again. It wouldn't be long for Kise's habits to pick up, and both of them had a full day ahead of them. Kasamatsu really should go back to sleep.

He couldn't do that. No matter how much his rational time told him to, sleep didn't conjure up every time he slowly blink. The darkness of the room was already a shady grey color as his line of sight adjusted already. Even if it was a boring task to curl up close to a wall and stare aimlessly at it, Kasamatsu's mind was awake and demanding—he didn't feel like sleeping at all.

His right hand twitched. Flickering like a dying animal after being poisoned and slowly coming to term with its imminent fate. The events of past day kept replaying in his mind over and over. Like a glutton for punishment the mix of humiliation and defeat kept replaying in the memories of a crushing defeat and further being spat on.

It made Kasmatsu's jaw quiver just thinking about it. It made him angry. He was a person, he had his limits, even he couldn't have the patience his culture so mandated.

Even worse was the overwhelming weight that pressed on the back of his neck. It made his shoulders droop, his adam's apple bob like a pound under water. It suffocated him and made him weary, but unable to sleep.

Maybe he wasn't cut out to play basketball.

Practice makes perfect. Diligence, discipline and determination were the three doctrines for success. Respect for your teammates, other players and the sport itself. Kasamatsu stood by his beliefs and even now he didn't feel like he was wrong for standing by his moral pillars.

Kasamatsu spent hours upon years practicing. His hands would smell like rubber-friction, the underside of his nails would get so dirty that it was easier to cut them despairingly short rather than scrub them. He'd have so much extra laundry that eventually he washed his own lots by himself instead of giving them to his mother. He gave up so much, learned all that the could. He tried his damn hardest because basketball was something that he cared for with a passion.

None of his efforts were enough to close the gap between himself and the other raw talents of his competitors.

Talent. It wasn't even that Kasamatsu believed that talent was given and not pursued. But it was obvious, some individuals are naturally better suited for certain things. Someone would always be better after all. There was no use pretending that he was amazing, when clearly other players had that huge explosion of skill plus talent that he would never get to experience.

Kasamatsu knew and accepted all of that.

But each time he did, the knot in the pit of his stomach wrung itself tight with pain.

He was a national level point guard.

But was this how a national level point guard was supposed to feel?

There was no pride, no sense of victory. All Kasamatsu could see himself as someone who desperately wanted his best to be enough and not have so many vexing loses. Try as hard as he did it felt like when the game really mattered, his moral doctrines were bad luck charms that lead his team to utter defeat.

Kasamatsu was the captain who had to be strong for his teammates.

But there was no team for him to be a captain of anymore.

He wasn't sure if he could continue being as strong as he was.

"…nngh…"

Kise's quiet groan was enough to yield a sigh out of Kasamatsu. True to Kise's likeness of being a puppy. Once sleeping, anything that disturbed his sleeping position bothered him. Although his drowsiness caused a delay in acting on it. Kasamatsu had originally been using Kise as a pillow, with the model's arm around his shoulder as he laid his head down on his shoulder. Now that he wasn't there anymore Kise would stir around until he got his dose of cuddles.

Kasamatsu didn't have to turn around to feel the pats Kise made where there was space between them. Kise groaned again, this time Kasamatsu could hear the stark annoyance as he rolled around. It didn't take long at all for Kise to scoot towards him, wrapping his arms around Kasamatsu like a child with a stuffed toy as he pulled close to Kasamatsu's back. Kise even went the extra mile of bending around Kasamatsu so that he could lay his head down against Kasamatsu's neck and shoulder.

It was hard but Kasamatsu had to bite back his tongue and swallow down hard. Kise was warm, his bare chest pressed tight against Kasamatsu's clothed back as his waning breath tickled the edge of Kasamatsu's clavicle.

At this moment all Kasamatsu wanted was to be alone. He didn't want to feel Kise's warmth. He didn't want to bask in anything other than his self mutilating thoughts about his place in a sport he felt passionate about. He wished that Kise wouldn't have insisted on staying the night. That he was more forceful about making Kise take the last train home. That way he could lament on his thoughts by himself without restraint. He could reach a conclusion for himself no matter what the ending outcome would be. Kasamatsu would even allow himself to be a little emotional if it got that bad.

But he couldn't now, because Kise was a persistent idiot that was clinging onto him too tight.

"Oi." Kasmatsu's late night voice was quiet and rough around the edges. Not caring about Kise's comfort, Kasamatsu slapped his hand on the blond head to try and push him away, "Kise you're too close. Get off."

"Ah! Senpai!" Kise whined out, he was still dazed with sleep but with his senpai pushing his head back he was forced to wake up a little, "But I want to hug you…" Kise shoved his head forward, moving past Kasamatsu's hand so that it laid lamely on his cheek and he could manage to rub up affectionately again.

"You always do, so shut up." Kasamatsu retorted with malice, "Back off already."

"No. I don't wanna."

"Kise."

"Senpai pleeeasse."

"Get off before I really get mad."

"But senpai!" Kise yelled out. Though immediately after he softened back up and had his weight fall with gravity, "I'm not stupid you know. Even I know notice things about you."

With this Kasamatsu fell silent. He didn't bother moving his hand from where it was on Kise's face. It felt like if he moved at all he'd be caught red-handed.

Kise took his opportunity. Kasamatsu could feel Kise's smooth cheek rub against him as he petted himself on Kasamatsu's loose hand. The tips of Kasamatsu's fingers brushed against the ends of the silky blond hair. His open palm feeling the most out of the nuzzling affection.

Kise just softly hummed as Kasamatsu sank into the mattress, slightly paralyzed by his own berating followed by Kise's keen observation.

Kise stopped moving. For a moment he just matched with breathing with his former senpai's. Kasamatsu could feel Kise's grip tighten around him, but he didn't do anything to acknowledge it.

"You know senpai," Kise's voice was cut against the silence, "Aomineechi was the first one to get me interested in basketball." Kise once again moved his head against Kasamatsu's hand, "Kurokocchi taught me…so many, I mean a ton, just a lot things about basketball too."

Kasamatsu didn't try to turn to look at Kise. He didn't need to see it for his own eyes to believe that Kise was staring at him from the corner of his gaze. That his fierce icterine eyes were feverish as he looked at Kasamatsu with all of his past emotions building up.

"But senpai you…" Kise turned against Kasmatsu's palm. Causing the loose hand to slowly spin around with the action. Kise held the corner of his lips against the back of Kasamatsu's hand, the highest tip of Kasamatsu's fingers could feel the tenseness of Kise's brow, "Senpai's basketball was the one that saved me." Kise whispered out. His lips were pressed in the space between Kasamatsu's thumb and index finger, "Senpai's basketball is the one I want to cherish," Kise kissed the spot gingerly. Slowly. Fervently. Suctioning off the spot as gentle as he could as if to suck the venom out himself.

Kasamatsu knew he should say something at that. Deny that he even had a 'basketball' to call his own. Remind Kise that his style was one of the best and he shouldn't compromise it for anyone. Yell at Kise for being so damn chummy and cheesy before the sunrise.

But he couldn't utter at word at that point.

"I won't forgive that guy so easily." Kise stopped his actions with a final kiss. His voice was louder. Strong with determination, "I won't let him off the hook for what he did. I'll show him that he's wrong. I'll prove to him that what we stand by is right." Kise paused for a second, "Don't worry senpai. I'll make him learn what Kaijo is really about."

Kise finished and the silence between them began it's overlay. The spot on Kasamatsu's hand burned now, it seared with the leftover fire from Kise's conviction.

"…Heh," Kasamatsu couldn't help but smile a little at that, "Who the hell would stay up at night worrying over stuff like that." There was a tint of amusement in Kasamatsu's playwright droll. All of which confused Kise.

"What?" Kise sat up a little, "But. I mean! After what that guy did—"

"Ah shut up." Kasamatsu's tiny smile was now gone as he turned over. There was a second when Kasamatsu locked gazes with Kise's. Seeing the bright color for himself, and how greatly Kise's warm eyes scorched against his steely stare, "It's late go back to sleep." Kasamatsu shuffled forward, nestling up to Kise's chest again.

Kise definitely blushed at little at the bold show of affection but shook his head so that he didn't lose focus, "Senpai!"

"Kise."

"That's not—"

"It's fine." Kasamatsu interrupted, "I'm fine. Just…" Kasamatsu stopped himself from trailing off, "We both have early days tomorrow so come on. Let's get as much sleep as we can."

"…Alright…"Kise sunk back down to get comfortable again. His arms wrapping around Kasamatsu's waist once more and his legs finding its way of entangling them between his lover, "Night."

"Night." Kasamatsu kept his forehead pressed against Kise's shoulder.

He still couldn't bring himself to blink without thinking about concerns.

Afterall. He was a realist before an opportunist.

Kasamatsu knew that the tomorrow night, he'd be alone in his bed. It wasn't like his worries wouldn't creep up in the darkness of the night and he'd be stuck aimlessly looking at nothing while lost in his own flooding thoughts.

But tonight he had Kise here to remind him of something important. Basketball was a sport he cared about immensely, but it was small compared to the emotions he felt about his teammates. So long as his efforts were acknowledged by the small few that sported the Kaijo blue, he could find his peace.

Tonight he could spoil himself and indulge in Kise's warm kindness. Tonight he could curl up in Kise's tight embrace and let his promise lull him to sleep.

Tonight at least, he could be well rested.


End file.
